Common Worlds

Greetings,
Maybe it's because I checked out Mike's Teshnos sources, but I did get a lot of ideas for my character from those links. Even though my new character needs to be refined, I know who it is and how it fits into the land of Teshnos.
Jonathan

I'm sorry Mike, I thought I discussed my Temple Raider Teshnos character with you. You even gave me the name of a Teshnos Thief God Besdi Solf Du, "the taker of things". For archival purposes, here is the 100 words:

Temple Priests! Wards cannot stop me, guards cannot grasp me, traps fail at my touch. Temple Gods! I fear you not. I find your secret gifts, I steal your tithes and raid your houses. Your sacred treasures sing my name. Shadows caress me, walls are ladders to me, cracks in walls are my hallways to slither in. I shine with anointed oils from Burahaba's Urn of the Unctuous. The Silent Path thieves exalt my escape and disguise skills. The High Magi Yashpiri secretly aids me. I impressed Basdi Solf Du when I stole the Pearl of the Righteous and begrudgingly gave to the poor.
I am Jaskaran Er-Neeraj, legendary Temple Raider, as if you didn't know.

Picture a thin, lanky guy. Some adjectives people use are dainty, suave, smooth, vain, effiminate, overly dramatic, and yes, greasy. Think of a jerri-curled Prince (that's the musical artist Prince) with one layer too much of baby oil, and minus-the high heels. Though some would swear he has a pair or two at his hut.

I think I'm going to go with the mad or drunken prophet character I mentioned before. I do still need to figure out his description and how he relates to Garusharp. I'll try to get some ideas fleshed out this weekend and bring it on Monday.

Temple Priests! Wards cannot stop me, guards cannot grasp me, traps fail at my touch. Temple Gods! I fear you not. I find your secret gifts, I steal your tithes and raid your houses. Your sacred treasures sing my name. Shadows caress me, walls are ladders to me, cracks in walls are my hallways to slither in. I shine with anointed oils from Burahaba's Urn of the Unctuous. The Silent Path thieves exalt my escape and disguise skills. The High Magi Yashpiri secretly aids me. I impressed Basdi Solf Du when I stole the Pearl of the Righteous and begrudgingly gave to the poor.
I am Jaskaran Er-Neeraj, legendary Temple Raider, as if you didn't know.
[/u]

That's 95 words by my count. How about "legendary temple raider of Teshnos. That would be 97

From the Description, all start at 13: [some relationship to] Temple Priests
Pass Ward
Break Hold
Disarm Trap
Foolhardy or Iconoclastic or Doesn't Fear the Gods
Spot Hidden Treasure?
Open Offering Jar or Wealthy? Know Tithing Schedule?
Avoid Temple Guardian?
Appease Daimon in Regalia?
Hide in Shadows
Climb
Hide in a Temple
Oily and Shiny
Burahaba's Urn of the Unctuous
Some relationship to Silent Path Thieves
Escape Artist
Disguise
Some relationship to Yashpiri
Initiate or devotee of Besdi Solf Du
Steal
Pearl of the Righteous
Begrudgingly Generous
Some relationship to the poor.
Legendary or famous or wanted or infamous.

Truthfully, I liked the old HW version 1 method of points assignment more than version 2.

Version 1: 2 skills at 1W and one skill at 5W. Others at their base. (There may have been some points to add, but I'll have to check.)

Version 2: 20 points to spend, with points costing as per the improvement rules -- 3 points for an affinity, 3 points for a grimoire, etc, but no "buying multiple points" penalties. Keywords start at 17. Abilities from the Description start at 13.

You may use either method. Version 1 lets you make something from your description be one of your best skills, without having to break yourself spending points on it.

Here goes, my first attempt with my teshnos description. Be it known that I have shamelessly plagirized some material.

Khalsa the Mad Prophet
I have seen the sacred fire of Chakravartin and I know it’s doom upon my black heart. Countless times have I flayed upon the welling red tide of my spurious talent for prophecy. The madness that engulfs me can only be satiated by the burn of drink or the flesh of woman. If not for my temper getting my fat in the fire, I would simply fade in the noisome rabble of the taproom. Nor am I a stranger to the twinge of stiffened bruises and dull throb of aches brought on by the debauchery of the night before.

I like it so far!

I can't tell what your "professional keyword" is. Madman? Prophet?

And do you mean you flayed or flailed upon your spurious talent?

Flayed: skinned
Flailed: struggled without effect

With very slight edits and applying the "names are one word" rule, you're at 86 words. You need to get your Culture, "profession" and magic keywords mentioned.

Do you worship the sacred fires of Chakraviartin, or something else?

I don't have any problem with having to create new keywords for new characters.

Brian, are you happy with the "temple Raider" keyword I laid out above?

Here's a try at "Prophet", based on "God Talker"

Abilities: Garbled Insight, See into Otherworld, Hear Spirit Mood, Feel Angry Essences, Go without Food, Sound Ominous.

Personality: Distracted, Otherworldly
Living Standard: Any. (some are poor and ignored, some are rich and honored)
Relationships: to followers, to temple.

How's that, Chris?

Yes, I'm very happy with Temple Raider. I think it has touches of raiders of the lost ark but with an Easterner's vision. I was also thinking, when you mentioned that High Magi Yashpiri should be High Magus, why not have a sect/order/school of a bunch of High Magi called the Yashpiri? I think its more colorful and allows more storyline. "the High Magi of the Yashpiri Order aid me".

I would have Pass Ward at 1W, Oily and Shiny 1W, and while not the most tangible, it suits the character's vision perfectly, Doesn't Fear Gods at 5W.
"appeal to Daimon in Regalia"?? would never have thought of that one :)

For a mad prophet, does Incoherent Visions mean the same as Garbled Insight?

So far we have--

Garusharp, prodigal son searching for his child, dashing rouge with the ear of the king
Oily temple raider
Fire sorcerer tortured by visions and buffered by drink and women
calculating restauranteur with dangerous recipes

Brad, eternally preferring the same old characters, has yet to mention anything about his new hero. Well, if he really prefers to run Captain Federal or Vector, maybe he should look at a follower of Mastakos Mover, the teleporting god. For Cap, he just needs a whole lot of armor.

Say it with me: MAGALITH!

Actually, i have an idea I will email you about.

No, really.

-Brad

Updated this with some new info to get to 100 words. Not sure if Chal is a God or religion, might need editing there.

Khalsa the Mad Prophet
I am Khalsa, a smouldering sorcerer of Chal. Trained under the great Taroush in my homeland of Teshnos, I should have been fated to greater things. But by the folly of the gods I was given the gift of foresight. I have seen the sacred fire of Chakravartin and I know it’s doom upon my black heart. Countless times have I flailed upon the welling red tide of my spurious talent for prophecy. The madness that engulfs me can only be satiated by the burn of drink or the flesh of woman. If not for my temper getting my fat in the fire, I would simply fade in the noisome rabble of the taproom. Nor am I a stranger to the twinge of stiffened bruises and dull throb of aches brought on by the debauchery of the night before.

Profession Keyword: Sorcererer
Keyword: prophet

This is getting there. Check out the article I just posted--"Writing Strong Descriptions"

Specific guidance: Is Taroush "great" or is he "inestimable burning questioner" or something similar? (Either counts as one word.)

You're at 123 words after I did some slight editing for passive voice:

I am Khalsa, a smouldering sorcerer of theHigherReasonChalites. Trained under the greatTaroush in the mountains of Teshnos, I should have been fated to greater things. But the gods' folly gave me the gift of foresight. I saw thesacredfireofChakravartin and know its doom upon my black heart. Countless times have I flailed upon the welling red tide of my spurious talent for prophecy. Only the burn of drink or the flesh of woman satiates the madness engulfing me. If not for my temper getting my fat in the fire, I would fade in the noisome rabble of the taproom. Nor am I a stranger to the twinge of stiffened bruises and dull throb of aches brought on by the debauchery of the night before.

Things to think about here: what will descriptors like black heart, swelling red tide, stiffened bruises and fat in the fire turn in to as abilities?

Here's what I see right now. Any given description might be rephrased:
Keywords: Teshnos, Higher Reason Chalite, Prophet

Student of Taroush
Mountain knowledge
once fated to great things
disdainful of gods
Knows sacred fires of Chakravartin or relationship to it? Is it your sidekick?
doomed or fatalistic
Black heart or joyless or unredeemable or?
helpless when gripped by prophecy
spurious prophecy
mad
drunkard
whoremonger?
bad temper
always in trouble
hard to notice among the rabble
seedy contacts or whorehouse contacts or barroom acquaintances
inured to beatings?
drink excessively
debauchery

Instead of "Countless times have I" how about "I flail.."

You need to look to combine some sentences to get rid of some words.

Argh!! Forever am I cursed by the use of passive voice!!

Don't know how/when I learned to write this way, but passive voice always seems to infiltrate my writings.

Everybody does it. Especially if they ever wrote technical stuff.

Here's the most succinct example to keep in mind.

Bad:

Then a blue screen of death will appear.

good:

A blue screen of death appears.

Bad:
He is tortured by visions of the the future that will come.

Good:
Visions of the coming future torture him.

Find the real verb (appear, torture) and make it active instead of passive.

Flags for passive voice: is, was, be, become, will, would, should, can, may, shall.

that sticky on 100 words is truly superb. I am racing back to my 100 words for the greasy eel as we speak.

brian

Mike, this is basically the update I showed you last week with some minor changes.

I am Khalsa, a smolderingsorcerer of the HigherReasonChalites. Sired in the mountains of Teshnos and trained under the Taroushthemerciless, I should have been fated to greater things. Alas, through my gift of foresight I glimpsed the sacredfireofChakravartin and know its doom upon my blackheart. Now only the burn of drink or the flesh of woman satiates the madness engulfing me. If not for my temper getting my fat in the fire, I would fade into the noisome rabble of the taproom. I invariably awake in the gutter to the twinge of stiffened bruises after brawling with the fatheaded local constabulary.

Keywords: Teshnos, Higher Reason Chalite, Prophet

Student of Taroush
Mountain knowledge
once fated to great things
fears the sacred fires of Chakravartin
haunted by visions
fatalistic
hopelessly self-serving
helpless when gripped by prophecy
fits of madness
drunkard
whoremonger
bad temper
troublemaker
fade into a crowd
whorehouse contacts
takes a beating
brawler
thumb nose at authority
fat
immune to filth

Bravo Chris...he is a true scholar! :shock:

I am Khalsa, a smolderingsorcerer of the HigherReasonChalites. Sired in the mountains of Teshnos and trained under Taroushthemerciless, I should have been fated to greater things. Alas, through my gift of foresight I glimpsed the sacredfireofChakravartin and know its doom upon my blackheart. Now only the burn of drink or the flesh of woman satiates the madness engulfing me. If not for my temper getting my fat in the fire, I would fade into the noisome rabble of the taproom. I invariably awake in the gutter to the twinge of stiffened bruises after brawling with the fatheaded local constabulary.

Keywords: Teshnos, Higher Reason Chalite, Prophet

Prophet 17
Garbled Insight
See into Otherworld
Hear Spirit Mood
Feel Angry Essences
Taste the Gods' Wrath
Go without Food
Sound Ominous
Distracted (optional-decide)
Otherworldly (optional-decide)

Relationships: to followers if any (you don't seem to have any)
to the Rule or some other temple (characterize this)

Rule of Higher Reason 17
Chalite Teachings
Read Teshnan
Speak Firespeech
Read Firespeech
Write Firespeech
Tend Fire
Symbolic Sight
Rule of Higher Reason Grimoire
Merciless Fire of the Intellect Grimoire
Chal's Rules 1 Grimoire
Chal's Rules 2 Grimoire
Chal's Rules 3 Grimoire

Five Spells from these grimoires in Talismans at 17

From Description 13
Student of Taroush
Mountain knowledge
once fated to great things
fatalistic
hopelessly self-serving
drunkard
whoremonger
bad temper
troublemaker
fade into a crowd
whorehouse contacts
takes a beating
brawler
thumb nose at authority
fat
immune to filth

Flaws from description--take them at any level you want:
helpless when gripped by prophecy
fits of madness
fears the sacred fires of Chakravartin
haunted by visions

Here are things (one a flaw) i think you missed:
Knows the Sacred Fires of Chakravartin
Disliked by the constabulary
Disdainful (?) of the constabulary

So now here's what's left:
Pick 5 spells from the grimoires to have in one or more talismans. Keep in mind you will not have your grimoires!

choose the method of assigning points:

20 points as you care to. No more than 10 points to any one thing. Everything is one for one. Use this method to spread ability around. Don't spend points on flaws--just set them at whatever number you like.

or

5W in one thing, 1W in two things. Everything else is at base as above. Use this method if something from your description should be very high.

...in Pavis. To order some Teshnan banana leaf pork.

But seriously, I'm interested in how you think the new heroes may know each other or know people who know each other.

Is Yashipiri (from the temple raider's description) a follower of the Rule of Higher Reason? Or their Brothers of External Fire?
http://differentcomputers.com/differentgames/viewtopic.php?t=60

Give me some backstory ideas that appeal to you, and I'll pick and choose some.

It's past my bedtime, but here's a quick shot.

Khalsa is tagging along with the other two for the time being because
1. They need a sorcerer with as few morals as possible to round out their little 'gang'.
2. They pay Khalsa just enough to keep him boozed up.
3. Khalsa perhaps has 'seen' some things about his two companions that compel him to follow them about, that and they pay for his cheap booze and floozies.

Here are some cross paths...

• The shining path thieves have been used by Garusharp to procure certain items as favors and gifts to the “girls”.
• Garusharp has stolen items as a free lancer for the Shining Path thieves, the Hand of Emptiness thieves and Mistress Vaku’s Discreet Procurements.
• Kira Sun Kian has a family member who has lost items to a Temple raider.
• There is a certain public bath in Teshnos that is known as the bath that cleanses the guilt form one's fire. It is a popular establishment for those who fancy themselves rouges.

Is Yashipiri (from the temple raider's description) a follower of the Rule of Higher Reason? Or their Brothers of External Fire?

Can we make the Yashipiri be another order under the Fire of High Reason rule? The High Magi Yashipiri order They are excessively dogmatic in their practice and preachings, but have an insatiable appetite for materialistic things. I picture them like popes of Rome in the 10th and 11th centuries. Publicly professing morals and virtues but privately living the opposite. Of course, this is where the greasy eel, Jaskaran Er-Neeraj, comes in. :) There are rumors that they have formed a secret rank of the Higher Reason, called the Radiant - they are not consumed by the Fire, but consume it themselves and reproduce it in different fashions. Needless to say this would be heresay to the rest of the Rule of Fire of High Reason.

by the way, what is the rating of Garusharp's get through crack skill(can't remember the skill name) or is it a talent? a feat?

I can work with this idea of Yashipiri one way or another.

Lemme digest this a bit.

Garusharp has three different magics:
hide in crack 5W
shot thru crack 1W
fit thru crack 16

Are you jealous or are you thinking of some horrible insult for me this evening?

Back story:

Kurima Kum-Sha is the goddess of the peaceful path. The stories say that when there was strife, Kurima would be summoned to a gathering and she would immolate herself. she would not be consumed but give off the purest and holiest of scents. All would inhale her holiness and become enlightened. Many came to worship her and she grew strong. But one god of anger and malevolence feared her, Ahurivan. He of cold blood and hot temper. He knew he could not destroy the goddess, so he sought to contain her. He set out and devoured many clay mostali. then he sought out Kurima Kum-sha and found her. Before confronting her he slashed himself and let his cold blood pour over him, thereby sealing all is openings and pores. He started to build a structure around Kurima Kum-sha. The goddess tried to sway him by immolating herself so that Ahurivan would become enlightened. But her holy incense could not penetrate the cold blooded seal. Ahurivan spit up the essence of the clay mostali and built a structure of clay all around the goddess. and when he was done he slashed himself some more to seal the structure with a glaze of blood. Foolish Ahurivan did not realize the cost of his releasing his own blood and perished once the structure was finished.

It is a strange temple in that no one worships inside it, only outside of it. Many pilgrims make the journey to the temple and these days tales abound of people becoming enlightened after visiting it. They say there are cracks forming in the structure and Ahurivan's blood may be weakening. So many now try to get close to the temple and deeply inhale hoping to be blessed with Kurima Kum-sha's essence. The High Magi Yashipiri have noted these rumours and many whisper how they seek the goddess' essence to enlighten their own selves.

The Silent Path Thieves have had dealings with a spy who they say can squeeze through cracks like no other. The greasy eel shall seek this man out with the help of the Yashipiri.

Brian... That was fantastic, I find myself longing for Garusharp's home in Teshnos and I haven't ever been there. Do we have all the players for this little interlude? Who is Brad going to be? Is John's restuaranteer ready to go home? Is the drunk Prophet drunk enough? And finally is the slipperiest of the slippery ready to test his abilities? Enough of work I need to game! :twisted:

I am ready and willing to run even if her numbers are not set in stone

• The shining path thieves have been used by Garusharp to procure certain items as favors and gifts to the “girls”.

Isn't it "Silent Path"? I don't have the reference here.

The Shining Path are a Maoist Guerilla band in South America.

There's another version of this story where the god who captures Kurima is not the dead and gone Ahurivan, but the still existing Tolat.

Tolat is the Red Planet. Some places call the Red Planet by other names:

Jagkriegriand
Shargash

In the Tolat version, he captures her as above, inhales her essence and becomes enlightened, giving up his malevolent ways and swearing to protect her.

may I add?

The High Wisp of the Kum-sha-cense has decreed the Tolat version to be additionist history. Tolat most likely breathed deeply of Kurima Kum-Sha during her struggle to escape Ahurivan's improsenment she says. Tolat received a very strong blessing of enlightenment, and then ascended to the heavens as a Red Planet. Some in the temple side with the Tolats, but many just believe it is an excuse to allow Tolat worshippers unfettered access to the temple structure under the guise of 'protection'.

and yes, it is the Silent Path thieves, not shining path.

Brian

Greetings,
Here is the first 2/3rds of my chef/adventurer whose name may be forever lost in a private email to Mike many months ago:
Beautiful What’s Her Name?, Teshnan Sorceress (keywords), worships Gajandiri Sha, Mistress of Feasts, 555th daughter of Kabveranara Sa, seeking the most refined fuel for the Irreducible Inner Flame. A culinary artist and member of the fertility feast staff, she finances her travels, in search of secret ingredients for Buripata Loravenishu Techa (her Food Of The Gods Cookbook), through caravans of provisions to her Master’s chain of Kralori and Teshnan restaurants. With her fondue set of fealty and her diamond ladle of love she can recruit loyal workers and stir up orgiastic feasts for her Noble Lord Jalam Raya Var Dhama (Opalescent lord of Kachipur). (65 words)

now that's unique. I am interested in seeing how you will play this character.

Very handy for the breakfast table too.

Here's some info people in Teshnos would know.

Read the comments between boxes from top to bottom and left to right.
So Jalamraya promotes the upright followers, not the other way around.

Don't worry about printing this off, I'll have copies available.

That's her name. Here's the above with a couple of corrections and really minor edits.

Beautiful Erani Merivali, Teshnan Sorceress, worships Gajandiri Sa, Mistress of Heavenly Feasts, 55th daughter of Kab Varanara Sa, seeking the most refined fuel for the Irreducible Inner Flame. A culinary artist and member of the fertility feast staff, she finances her travels, in search of secret ingredients for Buripata Loravenishu Techa (her Food Of The Gods Cookbook), through caravans of provisions to her Master’s chain ofKralori and Teshnan restaurants. With her fondue set of fealty and her diamond ladle of love she recruits loyal workers and stirs up orgiastic feasts for her Noble Lord Jalamraya Var Dhana the Opalescent lord of Kachipur). (65 words)

Here's what I see in this description:Teshnan, Sorceress, Gajandiri Sa

Seeks magical ingredients
culinary artist
Important to the Heavenly Earth Feast Rites
Finance
Well Traveled or similar
Secret Ingredients
Food of the Gods Grimoire/Cookbook
Manage caravan?
Boss/Client to caravaneers
Exotic cooking provisions
Servant of Jalamrya Var Dhana
Important Supplier to Many restaurants
Fondue Set of Fealty (How about a hot pot instead?)
Diamond Ladle of Love
Recruit
Trusted by her Workers
Aphrodisiac Lore and or Make Aphrodisiacal Food

Things to think of adding:

eat hot foods
make poison food
poison lore
bargaining?
She sounds wealthy--if she is, you need to say so.

Beautiful Erani Merivali, Teshnan Sorceress (keywords), worships Gajandiri Sha, Mistress of Feasts, 555th daughter of Kabveranara Sa, seeking the most refined fuel for the Irreducible Inner Flame. A culinary artist and member of the fertility feast staff, she finances her travels, in search of secret ingredients for Buripata Loravenishu Techa (her Food Of The Gods Cookbook), through caravans of provisions to her Master’s chain of Kralori and Teshnan restaurants. With her fondue set of fealty and her diamond studded ladle of love she can recruit loyal workers and stir up orgiastic feasts for her Noble Lord Jalam Raya Var Dhama (Opalescent lord of Kachipur). (65 words)

Keywords: Teshnan / Sorceress

Beautiful 17 Cookbook 1W
Chalite Teachings Ignite
Social Dancing Ambrosia
Enjoy Food Aphrodisiac
Eat Hot Food Nasturtium Delight
Know Jungle Ways Oleander Surprise Sit Quietly (more to come as I reference a
Speak Teshnan really good herb/spice book!)
Teshnos Customs Teshnos Geography Relationships 17
Well Traveled Ancestors
Manage Caravan Family
Recruit Temple
Bargain Caravaneers
Poison Lore Patron
Poison Food
Ride Horse/Zebra
Followers 17
Knife Work 5W

Temporarily Well Fed
Caravaneers
Personality 17

Clean
Fear Dragons
Possesions & Wealth 1W
Open Minded
Unexcitable
Fondue Set
Pious
Ladle
Suspicious of Kralori
Cookbook

That did not post exactly as I copied it. Sorry. I will bring the character sheet back with me.

It took me a moment to realize that you had a formatting problem, and didn't really want a pious ladle.

Still need to work on spells. I'll post some suggestions.

Here's where I'm going so far. Not finished, just posted in case Jon gets a look at it before the drive.

Any of his riders/rides, please get a copy of this for him if you can.

Control Small Fire
Distill Flavor Ritual
Make This Taste Different
Prepare Food to Please the Gods Ritual
Prepare Food to Please the Spirits Ritual
Distill Essence Ritual
Preserve Food Ritual
Discern Recipe Ingredients
Nourish Soul Ritual
Make Healing Soup Ritual
Enchant Food Ritual

Mike you forgot one of John's magics;

Get Garusharp home in one piece with the minimum amount of burned flesh ritual!!! :shock:

Native Abilities
Cope with Foreign Ways, Farm [rice or barley or wheat] Enduring, Provincial Geography, Know Place in Society, Kralori Customs, Peace with Dragons, Speak Kralori
Typical Personality Traits
Nationalist, Obsequious to Higher Authority, Pious, Polite, Xenophobic
Typical Relationships
Worship Ancestors, Respect Ancestors, Subservient to Family, Loyal to the Dragon Emperor, Respectful of Local Priests

Magic
The Path of Immanent Mastery
Abilities
Soul Vision, Worship Dragons, Philosophy of Immanent Mastery
Affinities
Manifest Draconic Being
Dragon Claw, Dragon Wings, Fangs of the Dragon, Eyes of the Dragon, Grow Larger

Ok you bunch of slackers I have drawn all of your characters as I see them, now I know that you may disagree with my interpretation but too bad! :twisted:

I will bring this piece of art to the game and there you can decide what you really look like.
See you Monday!

Chris, the picture is up a bit in this topic.

Got it, thanks!